oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
