apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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