Don't you send me to vm
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
