Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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