Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lilmack123 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.

Fav 58 4158 1342
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

Fav 11 1155 5634
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(417): View more from Missouri

As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

Fav 17 1153 3222
share tweet
(714): View more from California

I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay

Fav 4 2375 1476
share tweet
(979): View more from Texas

Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.

Fav 11 4411 1243
share tweet
(310): View more from California

I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?

Fav 6 3663 1322
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.

Fav 14 2307 1130
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.

Fav 3 910 543
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.

Fav 5 484 170
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT