you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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