She just used a chaser for red wine.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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