Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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