remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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