thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
