He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
