Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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