we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
