I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
