garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
