I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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