We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
