id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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