Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
