i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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