yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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