hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
