You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
