This girl is more easily done than said...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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