I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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