If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
