we made out on top of his cat.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
