she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
