So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
