great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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