My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize