1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize