What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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