If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize