I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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