You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
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Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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