Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
