Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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