I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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