What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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