Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
