i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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