today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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