just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
