Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize