So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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