Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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