I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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