thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
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Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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