he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize