if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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