O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So squirting runs in the family.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
