The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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