dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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