There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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