Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
