this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm like, not good at living.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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