some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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