In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i barfeds in our rink
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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